Styrofoam Sermon on Mount Vernon

And seeing the multitudes, He went up on a mountain, and when He was seated His disciples came to Him.Then He opened His mouth and taught them… (The Gospel According to Matthew, 5-7)

All Christians know about the Sermon on the Mount, in which Jesus – long before the advent of PowerPoint presentations – outlined the right ways for his followers to approach God and deal with other people. Jesus used community outreach to take his message to the people. And now, a latter day evangelist has followed the Messiah’s example by posting his (or her) Styrofoam Sermon on the Mount Vernon – specifically on a tree directly outside of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church at 223 N. Charles Street.

Styrofoam Sermon on tree outside St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Mount Vernon.

Styrofoam Sermon on tree outside St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Mount Vernon.

Yes, Mount Vernon isn’t just the home of Toynbee Tile installations on its streets. Now the downtown cultural hub can claim its own Styrofoam Sermon on the Mount – though its message is far from clear (hmmm, much like those “Toynbee Idea” tiles!).

Below is a closeup of the full sermon that was taped to a tree outside St. Paul’s on Monday, May 19, 2014 :

Styrofoam Sermon on Mount Vernon diptych.

Styrofoam Sermon on Mount Vernon diptych.

Here’s a closeup of the first styrofoam “tablet”:

Styrofoam Sermon, top tablet.

Styrofoam Sermon, top tablet.

The full text follows:

Food for Thought
The Rising of the Sun
Today’s Sermon
The Tree, and Yesterday’s
Lecture Were on Time.
The Keys are in the Door,
The Lion’s Mouth is Open.
The Bible Say’s [sic] Knock And
The door shall be opened. 2500
My home built
Ask and you will receive
Seek and You will Find
Wisdom, Knowledge + Understanding

Here’s a closeup of the second (bottom) styrofoam tablet:

Styrofoam Sermon, bottom tablet.

Styrofoam Sermon, bottom tablet.

The full text found on the second tablet follows:

These Bitch’s [sic]
despise The Word
And Trust in Perversity
.25 cents
Do I Have Cancer or HIV?
Something strange is in
The Food Only They Know
What it is

To most Christians, the Sermon on the Mount contains the central tenets of Christian discipleship. Now we must study and decipher these contemporary (and non-biodegradable) beatitudes to determine what lessons for salvation they offer today’s pedestrians and potential downtown disciples.


This entry was posted in Baltimorons, Mount Vernon, Neighborhoods, Pranks, Religion, Roadside Attractions, Uncategorized, Urban Legends and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Styrofoam Sermon on Mount Vernon

  1. This is the greatest thing in the world!! Baltimore Weirdness forever!

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