The Penis Tree

A Baltimore Landmark

Pee-pee Tree puts the schwing into Spring

Credit where credit is due: It was Senator Theatre Manager Gayle Grove who first alerted me to this topiary curio on nearby Woodburne Avenue. She had seen it while walking with her Mom, but knew that I would appreciate more than her mother, who looked away in disgust. I did, so much so that I went back with her one day to document this risque topiary creation for Atomic TV (check it out on the “You Asked For It” episode).

When we approached the house, a little kid came running out saying, “You wanna see the Pee-Pee Tree?”

“Sure,” I said. “Did you do that?”

“No,” the kid said, “but my brother did. You wanna look at it?”

The excited youngster led us into the back yard where he regaled us with his brother’s garden art. When we asked him why his brother did it, he shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno, guess he just like pee-pees.”

He seemed elated when we suggested setting up a hose or sprinkler at the tree’s base so that water would shoot out of the top. “Yeah,” he screamed, “so the Pee-Pee Tree can pee itself!”

Then a neighboring kid came over to play army and the little brother and the kid with the guns ran around the Pee-Pee Tree like some modern Pagan reenactment of a scene from The Wicker Man.

Only in Baltimore!

Atomic TV visits the Penis Tree

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