Attack of the Crash Test Dummy in Glen Burnie!

By B. Boyd (Baltimore Fishbowl, 3/14/2013)


Photo by Tim Quinn

The next time you have to chauffeur yourself to the Motor Vehicle Administration in Glen Burnie (yawn) on urgent bureaucratic business, I’m thinking you might be a little bit bored and daydream-distracted, and therefore, completely unprepared for the stunning surprise that awaits. I don’t want you to be alarmed and swallow your gum when you see what they’ve erected out there! I want you to be prepared like the good driver I know that you are: seat-belt-fastened; focused; ready for anything.

That’s why I’m driven to remind you in this public service announcement: There’s a huge, bright yellow crash test dummy standing in front of the place! Huge? Yeah, huge. Thirty feet tall (five times bigger than the actual simulation-study dummies); two tons on the dummy scale; rendered most authentically with action-figure joints and serious, if vague, close-mouthed expression. This androgynous dummy not only towers but knows how to tighten a seat belt, so how dumb can he/she be?

Continue reading “Attack of the Crash Test Dummy in Glen Burnie!” at Baltimore Fishbowl.

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