Maryland’s Tide Detergent for Crack Fad Spreads

tide-gazette

Tide shoplifter. Gazette.net/Maryland Community News Online

Suds for Drugs
Tide detergent: Works on tough stains. Can now also be traded for crack. A case study in American ingenuity, legal and otherwise.

By Ben Paynter (New York, 1/6/2013)

The call that came in from a local Safeway one day in March 2011 was unlike any the Organized Retail Crime Unit of the Prince George’s County Police Department had fielded before. The grocery store, located in suburban Bowie, Maryland, had been robbed repeatedly. But in every incident the only products taken were bottles—many, many bottles—of the liquid laundry detergent Tide. “They were losing $10,000 to $15,000 a month, with people just taking it off the shelves,” recalls Sergeant Aubrey Thompson, who heads the team. When Thompson and his officers arrived to investigate, they stumbled onto another apparent Tide theft in progress and busted two men who’d piled 100 or so of the bright-orange jugs into their Honda. The next day, Thompson returned to the store’s parking lot to tape a television interview about the crimes. A different robber took advantage of the distraction to make off with twenty more bottles.

Later, Thompson reviewed weeks’ worth of the Safeway’s security footage. He found that more than two dozen thieves, working in crews, were regularly raiding the store’s household-products aisle, sometimes returning more than once the same day and avoiding detection by timing their heists to follow clerks’ shift changes. Owners and managers of other area stores, having seen Thompson on the news, reached out to him to report their own vanishing Tide bottles. Since then, the oddly brand-loyal crime wave has gone national, striking bodegas, supermarkets, and big-box discounters from Austin to West St. Paul, Minnesota. In New York, employees at the Penn Station Duane Reade nabbed a man trying to abscond with Tide bottles he’d stuffed into a suitcase. In Orange County, an attempted Tide theft led to a high-speed chase that included the thief crashing his SUV into an ambulance. Last year, for the first time, detergent made the National Retail Federation’s list of most-targeted items. Says Joseph LaRocca, founder of the trade group RetailPartners, who helped compile the report: “Tide was specifically called out.”

Continue reading “Suds for Drugs” at New York.

Related:

    • Shoplifting rings target grocery-list items. Prince George’s police lieutenant: One store lost about $15K per month from Tide detergent thefts alone — Gazette.net
    • Cleanup on liquid detergent theft ring continues while trend spreads — ‘Liquid gold’ Tide brand being sold on black market, police say  — Gazette.net
    • Thieves rolling Tide detergent out of US stores — The Guardian
    • Tide Laundry Detergent Theft Ring Alleged After Bust At Maryland Barber Shop — Huffington Post
Posted in 2010s, Baltimorons, Crime | Leave a comment

“The Crab” — Durex Condoms Sex Position of the Week

It might be steamy but don’t sprinkle Old Bay on it…

Maryland
Facebook.com/durexUSA

mdcrabs1980
“Maryland is for Crabs” 1980s t-shirt.

“According to the CDC, Maryland ranked 7th in the U.S. in 2010 for syphilis, with 5.9 cases
reported per 100,000 population, compared to the U.S. rate of 4.5. Maryland ranked 14th in the U.S. for Chlamydia, with 459.6 cases per 100,000 population, compared to the national rate of 426. Maryland has also seen an increase in the number of gonorrhea cases, especially troubling because gonorrhea is becoming increasingly resistant to antibiotics.

During 2010, Maryland ranked 11th in the U.S. for gonorrhea, with 7,413 Marylanders diagnosed with gonorrhea – a 16 percent increase from 2009.”

To learn more about STIs in Maryland or to find a testing site near you, please go to
http://ideha.dhmh.maryland.gov/OIDPCS/CSTIP/ or call 410-767-6690.

thiskillsthecrab

Posted in 2010s, Baltimorons, Crabs, Sex | Leave a comment

Pigtown Madness


“Who needs TV when you live in Baltimore. The lady screaming is on the left side leaning out the third tier of windows almost at the end of the block.”

(Submitted by Luis Ramos.)

Posted in 2010s, Baltimorons | Tagged | 1 Comment

The Goof on the Roof: Bird-Brain Raven Fan (2007)

The Goof on the Roof: Bird-Brain Raven Fan As Lame As His Team
By Tom Warner (Accelerated Decrepitude, 12/29/2007)

The Jig Is Up for “Rooftop Ron” Stach, who bravely took time off from skittish employment to whore himself for rooftop publicity

First my girlfriend mentioned him, then my friend Scott “Unpainted” Huffines (“Huffines Has It!”) e-mailed me about him, complaining about his lameness. The subject of all this buzz was an occassionally employed construction worker named Ron Stack (sic), who perched himself atop a Canton bar and vowed to stay there until either the Baltimore Ravens (currently on a 9-game losing streak) won a game or fired coach Brian Billick. And thus, in a dreadful football season in which there’s little positive to talk about, the so-called “Goof on the Roof” became an overnight celebrity (but has he been on Marty Bass’ show yet? That’s the true test of Ravens dedication and celebrity.)

“He was no goof,” Scott (pictured left) wrote. “It used to be you had to be on a roof for months! This dude was on the roof TWO DAYS and gets the front page of the Sun, expecting to be off the roof if we beat Miami. We lose, he gets stuck up there for like 2 weeks – He doesn’t even stick it out til the end of the season on Sunday! He left Xmas day. He deserved to be arrested for just being a lameass. In the olden days you had to earn your cred.”

Huffine’s Has It!
Scott’s complaint has merit, as the rooftop ordeal of “Ron Stack” (real name Ronald Stach) is hardly the stuff of Into the Wild “roughing it” proportions. Besides the media attention, it included such perks as a pup tent, two heaters, five meals a day and all the beer he could drink (and construction workers sure can drink!), courtesy of the not-publicity-adverse owner of the bar below, on whose roof he perched.

Stach’s sacrifice certainly pales compared to previous sports-related vigils in this town, like the bartender who in 1991 perched himself on a Dundalk rooftop for 23 days to protest a feud between then-Orioles owner Eli Jacobs and then-Gov. William Donald Schaefer over the naming of our baseball stadium. Or compared to 98 Rock DJ Bob Rivers, who stayed on the air continuously for 11 days until the Baltimore Orioles ended their American League record-setting 0-21 losing skein at the start of the 1988 season.

Unlike those sports fan diehards, Stach’s vigil wasn’t all it was Stack-ed up to be. Though Rooftop Ron claimed to be a construction worker, everyone knows construction workers don’t work in the Winter – that’s why you’ll find them drinking up a storm and sticking $5 bills in stripper’s garter belts until the Spring rolls around. And then there was the matter of his name. This dumbass changed the spelling of his name, thinking that was enough to avoid being caught as Deadbeat Dad Ron Stach, the guy with outstanding warrants related to owing over $43,000 in back child support to a Dundalk woman. I love this line in Rosen’s article: “He’s also single, so no one at home is second-guessing his shenanigans.”

Well, that Dundalk woman he had a child with, Kelly Strach, begs to differ. She got miffed from reading about the $500 in Ravens memorabilia Rooftop Ron purchased during his vigil.

Continue reading “The Goof on the Roof: Bird-Brain Raven Fan As Lame As His Team” at Tom Warner’s Accelerated Decrepitude.

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Posted in Baltimorons, Ravens | Tagged , | Leave a comment