Baltimore Social Security Worker Reprimanded for Excessive Farting

(The Smoking Gun, 12/21/2012)

A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded “releasing the awful and unpleasant odor” in his Baltimore office.

In a December 10 letter accusing him of “conduct unbecoming a federal officer,” the Social Security Administration employee was informed that his “uncontrollable flatulence” had created an “intolerable” and “hostile” environment for coworkers, several of whom have lodged complaints with supervisors.

The worker, a 38-year-old Maryland resident, reportedly provided evidence that he suffered from “some medical conditions” that, at times, caused him to be unable to work full days. But a SSA manager noted in the reprimand letter that, “nothing that you have submitted has indicated that you would have uncontrollable flatulence. It is my belief that you can control this condition.”

A redacted copy of the letter was recently circulated among officers of the American Federation of Government Employees (AFGE), the union that represents the SSA worker. Contacted today at his office, the employee said, “I can’t talk to you about this, I’m sorry.” The employee is being represented in connection with the reprimand by a lawyer for his union, AFGE Local 1923. Cynthia Ennis, president of the Baltimore-based local, did not respond to e-mail and phone messages about the matter.

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The SSA worker is pictured with his wife in the above photo, which apparently was taken at an amusement park (yes, he is standing at the left shoulder of someone dressed as Pepe Le Pew). The employee is a claims authorizer at the SSA center that handles disability cases for the entire country.

According to the letter of reprimand–which is the least severe administrative sanction that can be levied against a federal worker–the man was first spoken to about his flatulence during a May 18 “performance discussion” with his supervisor. He was informed that fellow employees had complained about his flatulence, and that it was “the reason none of them were willing to assist you with your work.” The supervisor referred the employee to a SSA unit for “assistance with what could have been a medical problem that was affecting everyone in the module.”

Two months later, on July 17, a second SSA manager spoke with the man “in regards of your releasing of bodily gas in the module during work hours.” The manager asked the employee if he could “make it to the restroom before releasing the awful and unpleasant odor.” She also recounted what appeared to be a prior conversation during which the worker suggested that he would “turn your fan on when it happens.” The manager recalled advising him that, “turning on the fan would cause the smell to spread and worsen the air quality in the module.”

Continue reading “Baltimore Social Security Worker Reprimanded for Excessive Farting” at The Smoking Gun.

Posted in 2010s, Baltimorons | Tagged | 3 Comments

The Jennifers – “Christmas In Reverse” music video

An oldie but goodie from the Baltimore Or Less Christmas archives. Happy Holidays!

Indie-pop band, The Jennifers, send you seasons greetings with this not-so-happy holiday song. Song written by John Irvine. Audio produced by Dave Nachodsky at Invisible Sound (Baltimore, MD). Video by Skizz Cyzyk.

Christmas In Reverse

Watch more videos by The Jennifers.

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AC/DC – “T.N.T.” Live at the Capital Centre, Xmas 1981

An oldie but goodie from the Baltimore Or Less Christmas archives. Happy Holidays!

AC/DC performed their classic “T.N.T.” live with a Christmas twist when they played the Capital Centre in Largo, Maryland on December 21st, 1981. Their album “For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)” was at the top of the charts. Watch the video after Scott’s long-winded recollection.

An anecdote from Scott “Unpainted” Huffines:

“I was working at Friendly Ice Cream back in ’81 and my drinking buddy Tim R. scored four tickets to see the sold-out AC/DC show at the Cap Centre. He invited a biker waitress named Donna who was somewhat on the matronly side and she was bringing a friend. Donna offered to drive us in her Nova so we knew we could get good and drunk.

I figured we would be hanging with another rough biker chick and I was cool with that, I wanted to party and rock out to AC/DC. But lo and behold her friend was a vision of Essex beauty, a high-schooler with feathered brunette hair, freckles, fringed leather jacket, skin-tight Levi’s and even a roach clip in her hair. She was straight out of a Rick Altergott comic (though I didn’t realize that til almost 30 years later.)

Rick Altergott art from “Raisin Pie”

We picked up fifths of Jack Daniels (liquor is quicker – you don’t bother with beer on your way to a concert!) and while Donna drove with Tim chugging Jack shotgun I sat in the back with the hot metal biker chick, another fifth of J.D. and a pinner joint. We left Essex and started really hitting the Jack.

We were barely on the Capital Beltway when her hand purposely brushed against my leg and stayed there — before I knew it we were making out! Donna and Tim were up front getting angry drunk but I was in the back seat sucking face with a hot chick I just met.

Traffic slowed to a crawl as we approached the Cap Centre — cars were bumper to bumper — we were going to be late for the show.

I decided to make my move — I moved my hand under her jacket, inside her Western-style shirt and on top of her Danskin-covered left boob. I was about to get some titty action!

But then out of the blue Tim went into a J.D.-fueled angry drunken freak-out. He started yelling at Donna, then jumped out of the car, slammed the door, ran across the traffic jam, climbed over a fence and ran off into a field! That ended my makeout session and clumsy pass.

The chicks lit up cigarettes and started chain smoking as we pulled over and waited for Tim to climb back over the fence. But he was gone and not coming back and we realized that we had missed the opening act and probably half of the AC/DC show. We drove and parked and went into the concert hall.

We made it to our seats barely in time for AC/DC’s encore: “You Shook Me All Night Long,” “For Those About to Rock” and “T.N.T.” During “T.N.T.” a roadie came out dressed as Santa Claus and danced around the stage, two roadies stumbled around in a reindeer costume and roadies with Santa hats in the lighting rigs tossed confetti down on the band.

Suddenly Tim appeared in his seat — it was a Christmas miracle! We shook our metal fists in the air and screamed through the marijuana haze while Tim enjoyed exactly one half of an AC/DC song.

Afterwards it was a sullen drive back to Essex.

I never saw the sexy biker chick again. I’m sure she had a biker boyfriend, probably a meth-making “Pagan,” one of the worst biker gangs in Essex.

Tim was never able to explain how he made it to the concert after he ran off and climbed the fence.

The AC/DC encore was one of the best endings to a rock concert I’ve ever seen in my life.

And finding the video online was a true Christmas miracle.”

Related:

  • AC/DC’s Bon Scott Gets Pissed at Towson State Security Goons, 1979

Posted in 1980s, 80s Rock, Baltimore Babylon, Essex / Middle River, Music | Tagged , | 2 Comments

Bertha Idaho “Down On Pennsylvania Avenue”

bertha-idaho

“Bertha Idaho only recorded four songs in her professional career that started in 1919 as a traveling act singing and dancing along side her husband, John. Unfortunately she did not get into the recording studio until 1929 catching the tail end of the female blues popularity. This track “Down On Pennsylvania Avenue” features Clarence Williams on piano (though it was rumored that she accompanied herself) and is a great description of Baltimore’s seedy side.” — prewarblues.org

A great old Baltimore tune care of Erin Demetria Cassavaugh’s Down to the Crossroads.

Down On Pennsylvania Avenue

I want to tell you about a street I know,
In the city of Baltimore,
And every night about half past eight,
The broads that strollin’ just won’t wait,
You’ll find ’em every night on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Let’s take a trip down to that cabaret,
Where they turn night into day,
Some freakish sights you’ll surely see,
You can’t tell the he’s from the she’s,
You’ll find ’em every night on Pennsylvania Avenue.

Now if you want good lovin’, and want it cheap,
Just drop around about the middle of the week,
When the broads is broke and can’t pay rent,
Get good lovin’ boys for fifteen cents,
You can get it every night on Pennsylvania Avenue.

crossroads

Down to the Crossroads: A monthly segment on the 9sense podcast. Down to the Crossroads, where Faustian bargains are made, spirits are consumed, blues are discussed, and the Devil gets his due.

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