Maryland Man Facing Illegal “Dumping” Charge

Suspect, 48, gave cops bizarre explanation for defecation spree

Lawn turd (representation)

(The Smoking Gun, 4/20/2012)

A man suspected of a years-long public defecation spree in his Maryland neighborhood is facing a criminal rap after he was caught on videotape relieving himself in the driveway of a former police officer.

When confronted by cops, Kelly Ervin, 48, offered a bizarre explanation, according to police. Ervin reported that he goes running almost every day around 4 AM, and when he hits the two-mile mark, “he has to have a bowel movement.”

As such, Ervin said he carries toilet paper with him and “defecates wherever his 2 mile mark is,” according to a court filing.

Ervin, who was questioned by police at his residence on March 23, said that he was “embarrassed about the fact that detectives were there for this reason,” adding that he “had been doing this for over 20 years.”

Before departing, cops “told Kelly to stop defecating in people’s yards.” They also told him that, at the time, “there was not a criminal investigation.”

However, that changed several days later when police received a complaint from a Salisbury resident who reported that someone had defecated on his property on “at least seven occasions” since January. The witness, Robert Bryan Robinson, an ex-cop, noted that he “found toilet paper left with the feces.”

Continue reading “Maryland Man Facing Illegal Dumping Charge” at The Smoking Gun.

Related

This entry was posted in 2010s, Baltimorons, Crime, Pranks. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Current day month ye@r *