Best Reason Not to Watch WJZ-TV News: Marty Bass

Best Reason Not to Watch WJZ-TV: Marty Bass
(Baltimore City Paper, 1996 “Best of Baltimore” issue, 9/18/1996)

There are so many reasons it’s hard to pick just one. There’s the phony Sally Thorner, the grating Richard Sher, the faux-ditzy Denise Koch, the genuinely ditzy Stan Saunders, the plastic Kai Jackson, and the evil station management that allows these clowns to pass as journalists and shamelessly frees up news time to plug other WJZ programs. As bad as all that is, though, it pales in comparison to Marty Bass. No one else on local TV, or perhaps on the planet, is so unabashedly pleased with himself, and for no good reason. His loud and rambling weather reports serve only as vehicles to hog airtime, and afterward you don’t have a clue whether to take the umbrella or leave it home. Plus his hyper, “Look at me! Look at me!” performances on WJZ’s morning programs are a daily embarrassment (or oughta be) to the station and to Bass’ coanchor, the sedate Don Scott. At least the plug has been pulled on the nightly newscast’s inane “Mondo Basso” segments, which were anything but mondo and were full of Bass mugging for the camera. After two decades at WJZ, it doesn’t look as if Bass will be heading back to his native Texas any time soon, but we can always hope.

Posted in 1990s, Baltimorons, Marty Bass, Television | Tagged , , , | 53 Comments

Hampdenfest Racers Ride Toilets to Victory

Neighborhood celebration takes scatology to high velocity
By Jill Rosen (Baltimore Sun, September 11, 2010)


George Peters, aboard “The Golden Throne,” defeated Team Formula # Two Racing to win the championship at the first annual Toilet Races at Hampden Fest.

The rear axle came from a Honda that gave its last gasp 30 years ago. The front once belonged to a go-cart. But with this vehicle, the story’s in all the body — a standard, flushable toilet, complete with a transparent seat dotted with coins.

“I’ve had that toilet seat for like 10 years, waiting for something to do with it,” laughs Alex Tasi, who, on Saturday, finally found it.

The 42-year-old installer of solar panels from Annapolis was part of a small field of competitors that made dubious Baltimore history by participating in the first Hampdenfest Toilet Races, in which folks could ride anything down the course — as long as it included a “human defecation device.”

To continue reading “Hampdenfest Racers Ride Toilets to Victory,” see Baltimoresun.com.

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We Know Where the Bear Shits

Ray Lewis, #52, linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens and interplanetary warrior, destroyed Saturn on his quest to destroy universal body odor and is now back on the playing field running with a bear.

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Albino Maryland Blue Crab Found in Middle River

East County Times Online, August 26th, 2010

(Insert obligatory Old Bay seasoning joke here.)

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