Shit-canned: Remembering the Preakness Toilet Races

“You can’t kill stupid; you can only attempt to contain it. Like on a very large infield.” – (Source: “The Quotable Tom Warner Omnibus.”)

“In , the first year without B.Y.O.B., attendance plummeted to 77,850 from 2008’s 112,222…” (Source: Maryland Department of Business & Economic Development)

Shed a Tear Everyone. The Great Urinal Run at the Preakness Is No More.

From FanIQ (5/15/09)

preakness

The Running of the Urinals in bygone daze at Pimlico Race Course.

After last year’s Preakness, word broke that Pimlico was going to do the unthinkable, they were going to disallow patrons who attended the event from bringing in their own beer.

Now, at first, you’re probably saying to yourselves, so what? What do the snooty bastards in the stands with their million dollar horses need to bring their own beer in for?

Ah, but you see friends, the infield – not the stands – is where the action is always at. That’s where the debauchery and depravity happens. And it’s where the great Preakness Urinal Run was born. If you don’t know what the Urinal Run is, it’s quite simple. You get up on top of a row of urinals, and you dash across them as quickly as possible while people throw (oftentimes full) beer cans at you. Observe:

Is it ridiculous? Of course. Is it stupid? Oh, it’s beyond stupid. But it is tradition. And now, it will be no more.

Pimlico has officially canned it’s BYOB policy. You will now only be able to get beer at the track in plastic cups. And that’s not going over well with people.

Ticket sales are already down 15% (which could be due to the economy I guess) even though Pimlico will be bringing in ZZ Top (they’re still alive?) to perform this year.

I am devastated, and I know gearhead is too. Nothing beats dodging beer cans while watching horses race.

So, in one last tribute, I give you this great picture montage.

Don’t worry, he lived. But the BYOB did not.

Farewell, old friend. Farewell.

See also:

5 Best Preakness Toilet Run Videos (DailyCaller.com)
At Preakness, Not Everyone’s Idea of Fun (Joe Drape, NY Times)
Preakness infield infamous for a different sort of race” (Examiner.com)
Freakness at Preakness: Running of the Urinals” (Horsenation.com)
“And They’re Off!”: Port-a-Potty Racing 2007 (YouTube)

This entry was posted in 2000s, Baltimorons, Beer, Festivals, Pranks, Sports and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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